Alicia and Michael came to your store to buy The Thing You Sell. (“The Thing You Sell: It’s How You Pay the Bills!”[TM]) But while they were there, Michael realized that there was something else he needed from your establishment: a place to take care of a bladder-related issue. You directed him to the bathroom, and turned your attention to Alicia. She was looking carefully at the various options and configurations of The Thing You Sell, and pondering fiercely. You let her be, figuring she’d get your attention when she was ready.
But before that happened, Michael came out of the bathroom and walked swiftly up to Alicia. He whispered fiercely in her ear for a moment, shot you an appalled look over his shoulder, and the two of them slipped out the door. You didn’t think much of it — but that night, at closing time, you opened the bathroom door yourself, and the stench alone sent you staggering backwards.
The scene before you was worse than you were capable of imagining — it went beyond the capacity of mere text to describe. As you struggled to shut the door against the power of the reeking havoc within, you knew what happened to poor Michael. You also knew, with the grim certainty of a small business owner, that you would never sell The Thing You Sell to Alicia or Michael, for they would never ever return.
“This is what you get…” the evil bathroom seemed to whisper as you finally got the door closed. “For too long, I have been cleaned only by lowly Customer Service Representatives. I demand a REAL CLEANSING! Or shall I banish every full-bladdered customer from your store and leave you with an enormous backlog of The Thing You Sell?”
Hands shaking (and nose running), you opened the office door, struggled to find the phone book, and opened it to Encino Janitorial Services. There had to be someone who could…yes. There it was…the name that would solve your dilemma.
MegaJanitorial.
Your trembling hands could barely dial, but the voice that answered was as reassuring as it was competent. This was going to be all right.
